What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along…
Self pity/low self esteem vs CONFIDENCE! If you have feelings for this girl, say it, tell her, face rejection, fuck, you will screw yourself up and be afraid to do anything if you continue trying to get a girl like this!
If you’re not honest with her now, why would she like you as a partner? I’ve been that “nice guy” many times, it’s a fail because you’ll never understand how to be yourself. BE HONEST!
Aaah, the “Nice Guy”(™).
A Nice Guy, confusingly, is not a nice guy. He is someone who pretends to be your friend to get in your pants and then accuses you of ‘using him’ when you didn’t ‘pay’ him for his friendship/emotional ‘services’ by having sex with him. In his own words: “You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.”
Any man* who buys into this bullshit is not to be trusted, and is a disgusting misogynist who apparently thinks that the only reason to hang around women is the possibility of sex. The Nice Guy can eat my shit.
Here is a good explainer of that actual craiglist post, and why it is FUBAR.
*in this case I’m talking about straight (typically cis-)men; obviously not all men are heterosexual
I think the cause of the ‘Nice Guy’ phenomenon is a culture that peddles an incredibly narrow notion of young male sexuality. Teenage boys are told that there is nothing about them that anybody could ever find sexually attractive, and come to the conclusion that the only way they are ever going to experience any intimacy is by tricking girls with so-called ‘niceness’.
Given the way our culture constructs gender roles, I think its natural that many young men lacking in sexual confidence, (i.e. the large majority of young men), are going to go down this route. However, there’s a massive difference between teenagers who fall into this trap and men in their mid-20s onward who have made their nice-guy-ism into a bitter, misogynist ideology.